My First Christmas Memory

When I was a child, we didn't have a fireplace for Santa to deliver presents so he had to leave them on the front porch. When Santa knocked on the door I would be the one to open the door. This year, I was about 4 or 5 years old, I had a brilliant idea! Instead of listening for the knock on the front door, I would listen for the creak of the front porch floor boards.
As my sister and I sat and played checkers, I was listening for Santa, and sure enough, I heard the creak of the floor boards! I jumped up and was running to the front door when my sister yells out, "Santa Claus better move his ASS, or Randy's gonna catch him!"
I threw the door open and sure enough, all the presents were there in front of the door on the porch, only this time, the front porch swing was rocking back and forth! I was SO EXCITED! Not only did I almost catch Santa, but I had physical PROOF that he was real! (Later, I find out my brother had leapt from the porch catching his foot on the swing causing him to land face down in the snow!)
My sister comes up behind me with my jacket and says, "Let's go outside, look up in the sky and see if we can spot Santa and his reindeer!". So outside we were in this star-filled night, clear skies, a light snow on the ground, baby brother (me) looking excitedly in the sky, and big sister down on one knee with her arm around my shoulder looking up into the sky with me. A TRUE Hallmark moment in my life if there ever was one!
Just then, Louise (our Mama) ran out onto the front porch with her shotgun and fired, "BOOM! BOOM!" and screamed, "You fat son-of-a-bitch! I told you to stay off my god-damned roof!"
I start screaming, "No Mommy! Don't shoot Santa Claus!"
My sister yells, "Mama! What the hell are you doing?"
Neighbors come outside to find out what had happened asking, "Louise! What's wrong!"
Mama says, "Aww Hell! It's time he quit believing in that Santa Claus BULLSHIT! I'm the one who buys all the god-damned presents in THIS house!"
No more dreaming, or fantasies, or make believe in my Mama's house! By God, she made SURE of that!