Gay Marriage in 1991 - Chip Rowe and Randy Starnes

My husband, Kenneth "Chip" Rowe, and I were married at a Pride Festival in Atlanta in 1991 as part of the Mass Commitment Ceremony.  This was back when a real wedding and the possibility of gay marriage was just a dream. For us though, it was as meaningful and as deep a commitment we could publicly have.  It was pouring down rain and everyone was holding large plastic sheets up with one hand and holding their loved ones' hand in the other, almost like we were all under one big chuppah. And just as we were ready to say, "I do!" the rain just stopped, like a large water faucet in the sky was shut off.  Everyone starting cheering, and off course, I and thousands of others starting crying.  Then as someone in the crowd yelled, "Look!  It's a rainbow!" we placed the rings on each other's fingers.  It is a day I will never forget.  

Chip never forgot it either.  He was restless the night before his extraordinary light left this planet.  He could barely talk, and he kept trying to turn over from side to side; rocking and mumbling incoherently.  Hillary, his best friend helping take care of Chip there at the end, asked him, "Chip, what's wrong?  Are you in pain?"

He said barely in a whisper, "How will they know?"

Hillary and I exchanged questioning glances as I asked, "How will they know what, honey?"

"How will they know we were married?"  I of course couldn't answer, not because I knew an answer to give but because of the love he felt for me was on his mind in these last moments of life so strongly.  I KNEW he loved me. And I was crying. 

Ken's Morning

As morning now steals the night,

And graceful dawning yields a new vision,

I see your grace and courage in pain

As glimpses of what we all must endure.

As misery gave way to joy,

And release was but a breath away,

I saw your love and dignity given

As a guidepost and map for life again.

To have known and loved you,

I'll cherish for life-

To have cared and comforted

Has given me strength-

To have lost and grieved you

Has given assurance-

To have held you in dying

Brings trust for tomorrow.

As morning now steals the night,

And graceful dawning yields a new vision,

I see you and savor your spirit

And honor just how deeply I was loved.